Creativity isn’t just a hobby—it’s medicine for our minds. Our posts explore how creative expression through writing, poetry, and art can transform emotions and support mental health through creation.
Grief is so confusing. Sometimes a friend or a client will ask in desperation, “How long is it gonna take me to grieve?” My answer is always “I have absolutely no clue. I wish I knew.” There is no normal timeline. There is no predictable course. And thats frightening because when we’re grieving we just want to know it will eventually get better. But the emotional experience of it all can give some severe whiplash and make us think we will never feel normal again.
One minute you’re out with your friends feeling free as a bird, so thankful you made it out of your marriage in one piece and the next you’re sobbing on the floor in the bathroom, sure you made the biggest mistake of your life. Literally 2 minutes apart. Both those thoughts can feel so so true, 120 seconds apart. And how can it be normal, after the loss of a full term pregnancy, to feel your heart unexpectedly welling up with peace after a full day of sobbing and hating yourself for every little choice you made or didn’t make over the last 9 months.
We have so many parts inside us. Parts that are fiercely loyal and desperate to restore connection when it’s lost. Protective parts that are slower to trust and prefer safety over risk. Optimistic parts that hold our hope and sing at full volume. Parts responsible for emotional release that long for a good, hard, wailing cry. And when we experience a loss of any kind ALL our parts have to live through it. They all have to adjust and find a new normal. And we don’t usually get to choose which parts show up when in our life, especially after a change that rocks our world. That’s why you can feel both devastated then hopeful, then devastated again, then calm then angry, and around and around, all in one evening. The terrible rollercoaster is normal. And if you’re on it right now I’m sorry. It is so painful.
I wrote a song about my “divorce grief rollercoaster.” I simultaneously felt so much pain and so much hope in the months following the end of my marriage. Finally, years on the other side, I am happy to report that the sun shines more than it rains. I am in a lovely season of blossoming. I have no idea when grief will come for another visit but I know it will because grief is a part of life. For now I choose to live with my pedals open, oriented towards the sun, drinking deeply, because even though it will rain again someday, I know it will be okay. When grief comes again, my parts will feel what they need to feel as I try to loving create the space for their experience. And when we’re ready, we’ll blossom again.
