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How the SCALE Model Will Help You Change for Good

New Year, new you, right?

Hopefully! But if you are setting the same resolution as last year: lose weight, quit drinking, learn a language, reduce anxiety, get a morning routine, pay off debt, slow down, travel more…you might not be among the 9% of Americans who succeed at keeping their resolutions. If you find yourself in the other 91%, don’t worry—you’re not alone and it’s not because you are a failure. Your resolutions are like a fantastic new piece of build-it-yourself furniture, just without the tools or instructions. 

So, why can’t you change? It’s rarely for lack of desire.

You’ve probably heard, “You have to know your why. You’ve got to want it bad enough.” While motivation is the fuel for change, without the essential steps that follow, your “why” becomes little more than wishful thinking. It’s like desperately wanting straight teeth but never committing to braces, finding a provider, getting to your appointments, paying the associated costs, and leaving the damn things on long enough for your teeth to move. It’s two years of avoiding sticky food, carrying a toothbrush in your pocket, and if you are lucky, sporting braceface at the same time as the rest of your friends. And don’t forget the nightly retainer for years after the braces are removed so your teeth don’t just wiggle right back to where they started. Oh, the details and discomfort of changing a smile! So it is with personal transformation. Which is why only 9% of Americans stick to their resolutions, it takes a whole lot more than knowing why you want to change.

You’re Not Alone – Change Feels Hard

As a Coach for Change for the past two decades, I’ve worked with countless clients who come to me after years of face planting their resolutions. They’re motivated, but they’ve fallen into one of two gaps:

  • The gap between motivation and initial action.
  • The gap between initial action and sustained change.

These are the spaces where our desires go to die.

Where there’s a will, there IS a way—but the way doesn’t just appear. It has to be created. 

Introducing SCALE: Your Framework for Lasting Change

The S.C.A.L.E. framework isn’t something I invented—it’s a successful pattern I observed and refined through years of coaching and personal growth. It’s a summary of how hundreds of clients and I have succeeded with resolutions like quitting substances, sustaining weight loss, improving mental health, navigating faith transitions, shifting careers, transforming relationships, and other meaningful change. Like braces for crooked teeth, the SCALE framework addresses the coordination issue of transformation through small adjustments in five key areas. 

A Deeper Dive 

Skills:

Skills are the foundation of change. These are the tools and practices you develop to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Emotional regulation, time management, self-compassion—these don’t usually come naturally. They’re SKILLS built over time with intention and practice, just like learning to play an instrument, only the music is your life. 

Consumption:

What you consume affects every part of your mindset and behavior. And it’s not just food and drinks—it’s the media you scroll, the conversations you have, the books you read, the time you spend in nature, the air you breathe, and even the energy of the people in your life. Aligning your consumption with your resolutions is like fueling your body for a marathon; it gives you the energy and clarity to keep going.

Allies:

Change is hard, if not impossible, to do alone. The people around you can either be your biggest supporters or your biggest hurdles. Allies are the relationships that challenge, encourage, and hold you accountable. We can find allies in family, friends, community, and even in organizations like support groups or online groups. 

Limitations:

Though limits can feel frustrating, they are actually where some of our best growth happens. Ignoring limits, like your available attention or financial resources, can compound stress. Waiting for limits to change means you may never even start. Constraints aren’t roadblocks—they’re tools to help you focus, get creative, and move forward in a way that feels manageable. Sometimes limits need to be self imposed, in order to sustain meaningful change. And other limits need to be questioned, like what limiting beliefs might not be true that are holding me back? Exploring our limits, both real and perceived, is a crucial aspect of succeeding at our resolutions.

Environment:

Your surroundings directly influence your behavior. Whether it’s your physical space, like a clutter-free bedroom, or your emotional space, like a calm morning routine, designing your environment to align with your resolutions makes it easier to stick to them. What environments you expose yourself to might have to permanently shift for your resolution to become reality. For example, a resolution for sobriety might mean removing yourself from the environment of bars and concerts. Being realistic about what environments you do and don’t put yourself in will ensure your success!

A Glimpse at the SCALE in Action – 

My client Hannah (I’ve changed her name for privacy) came to me after several failed attempts to quit drinking. Her resolution was, “improve mental and physical health by replacing drinking with healthier habits.” Hannah’s “why” touched nearly every area of her life. She had recently entered perimenopause, and her habit of drinking two or three times a week was affecting her mood, weight, sleep habits, and mental clarity more than ever before.

Hannah shared that she used to get a buzz from two drinks and a hangover from four; now it was the opposite—a hangover from two drinks and a buzz from four. She observed that on nights she drank, she would start fights with her spouse and felt more agitated with her kids the following day. At work, she experienced mental fog, and she had gained 10 pounds, which she was certain was a result of the hormone disruption from drinking. Hannah was frustrated and MOTIVATED.

I recall asking her why she wanted to make this change. Her emotional answer was:

Because I want to feel clear and capable of fostering vibrant connections with my body, my children, and my spouse. I want to feel confident and energized again! I can’t… I don’t WANT to do this anymore.”

Hannah’s “why” was powerful enough to fuel a train. She hadn’t failed because she didn’t want it badly enough; she hadn’t succeeded yet because she didn’t know HOW to quit drinking.

So we SCALEd it together!

We identified small, actionable changes in each of the five areas to support her resolution. 

Skills: Hannah needed to learn some stress management skills, we started with just ONE new skill at a time until it was second nature and then she would learn another. Over the course of several months she learned skills like; 

  • Box breath for relaxing throughout the day and especially after work.
  • Communicating boundaries with her family so she could honor an evening bath ritual.
  • Walking outside no matter the weather conditions for 30 minutes a day (this is a legit skill during Utah winters). 
  • Exploring her creative expression to find an art medium she could take a genuine interest in. 

Consumption: Hannah observed and managed her food in-take. She realized she had a habit of coming home from work feeling starving, and reached for alcohol as ‘fast energy’. Adjusting how she nourished her body throughout the day reduced her craving pattern significantly. 

Allies: Hannah shared her goals with her spouse and enlisted his support by planning alcohol-free date nights. He was excited about her resolution and engaged in regular discussions about her progress and how he could support her.  

Limitations: Hannah set clear boundaries, like avoiding events where drinking was central, while building confidence to navigate that social pressure. Even though there were several events that she already had tickets for, she honored her limitations at the moment and did not attend. She also identified a few of her limiting beliefs, like “drinking is the most fun way to celebrate” and “I’m not capable of relaxing without a drink.” Transforming those limiting beliefs amplified her personal power for creating a new outcome. 

Environment: Hannah replaced the bottles of wine in her home with sparkling water and herbal teas, creating an alcohol-free space.

By addressing each area of the SCALE framework, Hannah created a sustainable foundation for change. Over time, her small adjustments added up, and she began experiencing the clarity, energy, and connection she had been longing for. Her success wasn’t just about quitting drinking—it was about reclaiming her confidence and aligning her daily life with the energy and vitality she wanted to feel. She hadn’t failed before due to lack of willpower, she just didn’t know how. Once she did, her resolution became her reality and it can for you too! 

Now Your Turn: Apply the SCALE Framework to Your Resolution

Start by asking yourself:

What is your resolution?

Why is it your resolution?

Connect deeply with your motivation. Write it down and say it out loud to a trusted friend. 

Now, pass your resolution through the SCALE framework with these reflection questions:

Skills:

  • What new skill(s) do you need to learn to make your resolution a reality?
  • From whom or how can you learn these skills? 

Pro Tip- We don’t know what we don’t know, so having a safe person to reflect with can be helpful. Consider asking a trusted friend, coach, or therapist, “When I’m overcommitting and running myself into exhaustion, can you see a skill I might be lacking?” Their insights can guide you toward areas of growth.

Consumption:

  • What are you consuming (food, media, ideas, habits) that supports or sabotages your goal? 
  • What could you replace or add to your consumption to align it with your resolution?

Pro Tip- If your resolution is to improve your mental health, you might replace scrolling social media before bed with reading a calming book or listening to a meditation. Small adjustments to what you consume can have a huge impact.

Allies:

  • Who in your life can support and hold you accountable for this resolution?
  • Are there any relationships that might be hindering your progress?

Pro Tip- Surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you succeed. Share your goals with them, and invite their support. You could say, “I’m working on [your resolution], and it would mean a lot if you could help me by [specific action, e.g., checking in weekly or joining me for healthy activities].”

Limitations:

  • What boundaries or constraints can you set to support your goal?
  • What are some of your limitations like finances, energy, or physical abilities that you need to honor and work with. 
  • What limiting beliefs are you ready to question and rewrite?

Pro Tip- Limitations are not obstacles they are invitations. For example, if you have a budget of $19 for fitness, there are incredible apps to guide your workouts. Don’t delay starting because you can’t afford a boutique Pilates membership. 

Environment:

  • How is your current environment set up to support or hinder your resolution?
  • What  changes can you make to align your environment with your goals?

Pro Tip- Your environment shapes your habits. If your resolution is to meditate daily and reduce video game time, you might create a dedicated space for meditation in your room and place your video game console away during the week. 

Gentle Reminder

All transformation calls for a great deal of self compassion. Self compassion is not an excuse for failing, it’s the compassionate lens we view ourselves and our choices through. If you haven’t yet succeeded it’s not because you are unworthy or inadequate, your desires have simply fallen in the gap between why you want to change and HOW to change. This framework can help you address that gap, and empower you to sustain your resolutions. 

You might find that learning a skill requires more environmental adjustments than you expected. Or that improving relationships with your allies takes better boundaries  before you get the accountability you need. That’s OK.

Real change takes time—it ought to. If you’ve ever endured braces, you already know this.

Even though SCALE is a helpful little acronym, remember that change is MESSY. It’s messy and nonlinear. It’s all an experiment and YOU are the expert at being you. So when a resolution that you want isn’t sticking, go back to the drawing board, rework your SCALE, and give it another go until your resolve becomes your new reality! You’ve got this. 

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